Mayor Roberto Huxley of Vice City, Florida, called an emergency meeting on Wednesday. All his staff attended a very serious discussion about the ramping crime in the area.
"3 million in property damage a month, 50 car jacks a day, 82 homicides a week, 20 airport bombings," a crime analyst reported.
Mayor Huxley always knew things were trouble, but is finally clamping down on the root of the problem, "Our team is definitely looking into the problem of why Vice City is a magnet for death and destruction. We have a diversity coordinator and a historical context professional looking into it," Huxley said.
At the time of this writing, the historical context professional was dragged out of his car, beaten with rods, and then set on fire.
"We are down to two conclusions," Huxley stated, "this is either deep seated race issues stemming from unfair Jim Crow laws or one guy with a backpack full of molotov cocktails and a rocket launcher."
Comments
Post a Comment